Friday, December 26, 2008

Tim ba land

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Road to heaven (http://lightproofbox.com/road-to-heaven/)

I am back

I haven't blogged in days. Its been almost two months I believe. Actually I got lazy in the beginning and then I thought to myself: I am not writing things that I am actually feeling. I am just blogging for the sake of blogging. And then while I was thinking all that there was a death in my family, then another one and then yet another one.
So that is when I totally forgot that I had a blog that I had to take care of. Somehow things are not exactly going the way I want them to go but then when exactly do things go the way you have planned them.
So last week I was psyched about this job interview. Or maybe it was the week before that. Sorry, I have lost track of time. So I prepared for this interview like mad. In all honesty, they scare me. But anyway, I thought I had done a good job researching about the company and then the usual questions Tell me about yourself, Strengths, Weaknesses and Questions I needed to ask at the end. Even the lady who interviewed me was laughing throughout and giving me this really positive feedback. All that to find out that I had been rejected.
As I read the email I was really sad, but now its in the past. I decided not to bring that day into my present life. Anyway, enough of that. I just totally lost all my thoughts when my niece stepped into the room and cried/screamed and I am so blank now.
I have decided to change my blog a little. I have just started reading Paulo Coelho's blog and I kind of like his idea of having several topics on his daily blog. They are simple yet interesting. So today when I have a little time to myself I will write about several things that are actually close to my heart.
Happy Holidays by the way!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I tagged me (:

1. Last movie you saw in a theatre?
I guess it was Wanted

2. What book are you reading?
The Magic of Believing

3. Favorite board game?
Hmm..its been a while. Ludo I guess?

4. Favorite magazine?
No favorites - Time, Newsweek, National Geographic

5. Favourite smells?
Pleasures, Rain, Coffee

6. Favourite sounds?
Haawww - Shahbano (my niece)
Instrumental Music

7. Worst feeling in the world?
When you wake up in the morning and it seems that you are not worthy of anything. :(

8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
Email..??

9. Favorite fast food place?
Wendys - I love their frosty

10. Future child’s name?
Haa..Shania..

11. Finish this statement. “If I had lot of money I’d….?
travel.

12. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
No, but I do have Elmo & Leo.

13. Storms - cool or scary?
Scary sometimes

14. Favorite drink?
Juice

15. Finish this statement, “If I had the time I would….”?
...I do have time..

16. Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
Oh yeah

17. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?
I dont think I want to dye my hair


18. Name all the different cities/towns you’ve lived in?
Islamabad, Plattsburgh, Cullowhee, Weaverville


19. Favorite sports to watch?
Cricket once upon a time

20. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you?
Who?

21. What’s under your bed?
Sneakers, and Rani Apa's stuff

22. Would you like to be born as yourself again?
Yeah

23. Morning person, or night owl?
Night owl

24. Over easy, or sunny side up?
Sunny side up!

25. Favorite place to relax?
Bedroom - with no one complaining that I am all by myself and I should be sitting with people.

26. Favorite pie?
Ah, it was a banana creme pie in NY..yummy!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Untitled

You forgive me for liking you too much,
And I'll forgive you for not liking me enough.

You forgive me for missing you so,
And I'll forgive you for being so cold.

You forgive me for the loud racing of my heart,
And I'll forgive you for not hearing it.

You forgive me for playing your games,
And I'll forgive you for toying with my emotions.

You forgive me for finding you so attractive,
And I'll forgive you for not noticing.

You forgive me for raising you up so high,
And I'll forgive you for bringing me down so low.

You forgive me for being so pathetic,
And I'll forgive you for taking advantage of it.

You forgive me for not being able to let go,
And I'll forgive you for never having latched on.

You forgive me for having hopes and dreams,
And I'll forgive you for crushing them.

Forgiveness brings inner peace.
Do we have a deal?

I saw this as a note on a friend's facebook and I believe it makes sense. Why does love have to be so complicated? Anyway - I'm not in any kind of pain, I just dont believe in keeping my heart up my sleeve anymore.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young

A newspaper column by Mary Schmich, published by the Chicago Tribune on 01 June 1997.




Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.

I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt.

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Copyright © 2006, Chicago Tribune

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Today is Mine


Its almost 1:20 am (October 6, 2008). Got off the phone, was talking to my mother. My sister gets married in 4 days (Inshallah). I wont be attending the wedding. I guess we have to be at a certain place at a certain point in time. That's exactly where I am. I am so many miles away. And its complicated - I cant be there for some crappy reason (Hint: Visa & all)
When I was talking to mom, I suddenly had this heartache. You know the kind when you feel it. No, its not a heart related disease. Its an emotion. I have felt it in the past.It hurts so bad you feel restless. You want to do something, but you cant. At times, you're just helpless. Reminds me of your blog Awais, the one on living.And your little note right at the end: Live. It may be the bravest thing you would ever do.
Now, to some people this whole wedding thing may not be such a big deal. But let me tell you, I missed her engagement ceremony as well. And it is the first wedding in our house, and when I was a kid I used to dream that I'd have a grand wedding for my sister. Guess what..thats not happening!! Because God has a different plan. This is how it was supposed to be. And then I saw this image:
"Today is Mine. Tomorrow is not my business."
And I felt a little better. All I can do sitting so far away is pray for her. So, here I go - this ones for Amina & Adnan Bhai (Thanks Rumi):

This Marriage

May these vows and this marriage be blessed.
May it be sweet milk, this marriage, like wine and halvah.
May this marriage offer fruit and shade like the date palm.
May this marriage be full of laughter, (y)our every day a day in paradise.
May this marriage be a sign of compassion, a seal of happiness here and hereafter.
May this marriage have a fair face and a good name

(Amen)

I miss you all, and I love you all.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

A Bit More About Me..

These 5 things are always on my to-do list:

1. Wake-Up
2. Talk to mom, dad, Amina, Deejay
3. Pray
4. Clean my room
5. Sleep

My favorite mistake was...I'm not too sure. I'm sure I've made a lot of mistakes, but I guess they weren't important enough to remain in my memory.

If I could donate $1 million to charity, it would go to... Help 100,000 children thrive in the classroom!

My most overused phrase is...Right On ;) (Which reminds me of a really cute girl Zoya. She is my best friend's niece and we went to this little place outside their house in NJ. As we ate our food and chatted, I said Right On in response to something Raameen said. And Zoya looks at us and says, "But khala we are right here, not right on." Kids are so cute. I miss Zoya now.)

Favorite Quote:

Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that. Peale, Norman Vincent


TAGS: Awais Aftab

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Winners Dont Quit

Lance Armstrong: Hey, aren't you Peter La Fleur?
Peter La Fleur: Lance Armstrong!
Lance Armstrong: Ya, that's me. But I'm a big fan of yours.
Peter La Fleur: Really?
Lance Armstrong: Ya, I've been watching the dodgeball tournament on the Ocho. ESPN 8. I just can't get enough of it. Good luck in the tournament. I'm really pulling for you against those jerks from Globo Gym. I think you better hurry up or you're gonna be late.
Peter La Fleur: Uh, actually I decided to quit... Lance.
Lance Armstrong: Quit? You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying of that's keeping you from the finals?
Peter La Fleur: Right now it feels a little bit like... shame.
Lance Armstrong: Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't anything to regret for the rest of their life. Well good luck to you Peter. I'm sure this decision won't haunt you forever.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The Meaning of Your Life Path

Life Path 9 - This is my life path number, wonder if any of this is true!

People with a Life Path 9 are humanitarians. If your Life Path is a 9 you have an extremely strong sense of compassion and generosity. You are selfless and helping others is very important to you. You not only want to help others, but you feel very deeply for those less fortunate than yourself.

You are friendly and people like you. Your generosity knows no bounds, and you give freely of your money, time and energy. Your ultimate goal is working toward a better world.

Because you are so giving you may find that your finances are not in the greatest shape. You may also have a tendency to be scattered - your talents lie in so many different directions that you may find it difficult to focus on just one. If you are not following your Life Path and are instead pursuing materialistic gains, you could fee a deep level of dissatisfaction with yourself.

Career Choices:

Artistic flair is something most 9's possess, and you may be well suited for a career in the arts. You are multi-talented, so other good career choices would include becoming a healer, teacher, firefighter or minister.




You can check yours at: http://www.divinecaroline.com/article/32649/47178-numerology-names

And then: http://www.aboutnumerology.com/lifepath.php

God

We long for You in our worship,
In trouble we ask from You alone.
We worship You for the purpose of love,
In trouble we ask exclusively.
We perform the worship to You alone,
We have hope of help from You alone.

(Rumi)

Friday, September 26, 2008

Peculiar Things About Me

1. I cant share my things with anyone. No exceptions. The reason for this selfish act: Simple. Others will never take good care of your things because they dont own the things.-Example: I gave my digital camera to a friend, and in a blink it was on the floor. I paid for the camera myself, from my first pay, while I was a graduate student. Yes, it hurt. It still does sometimes. And I dont borrow stuff from people either, if I need something I will go and buy it, and own it.

2. I will never sleep on an unmade bed. I have to sleep in a clean room and the bed has to be neat made before I sleep on it.

3. I get distracted by unorganized things, and it bugs me to study in a room where things are not where they should be. I will always clean the room before I start studying - even if I have a final exam the next day.

4. I make a list of things that need to get done. Kind of like a "to-do list" - If I don't write it down, it is quite possible it wont get done. Throughout my college life I had a "to-do list" everyday. From "Wake Up" to "Sleep" and ofcourse all that stuff inbetween.

5. I cant listen to music when I'm hanging out with friends. I listen to it only when I'm in the car, or in my room or when I'm traveling. If I'm with friends, why do I need to listen to music anyway??

6. I dont like pineapples - I've never had them, but I just dont like them at all.

7. I'll say I'm broke and then I'll go buy a book from Barnes and Noble. I could "literally" live in that store.

8. I dont wear heals, I never will. I think they are uncomfortable and a waste of money. Garbage!

9. I dont wear make-up either. Yes, I have been forced to wear it - sometimes by friends, other times family. But I cant stand it.

10. Sometimes a song will be playing in my head, I'll try to sleep and it wont go away. I will imagine a stop button to make it stop.

11. At times I dont feel like being around people. I want to be by myself, I need my space. But I dont want to make a face if someone does try to take away that space - I dont like it when people show their mood swings to others. I'd tell people if I'm upset and am unable to socialize and would expect others to do the same.

This is it for now, I'm sure I can come up with more things in the future. So long!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I like sunsets. I really do.

Mother

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life."- Abraham Lincoln

I think its unfair to mothers when you honor them only for one day in a year. Mothers are wonderful, all loving, and the best. They should be honored daily, since mothers never stop loving us - ever. I love you mommy!! I thank you for all the sacrifices that you have made for us. I just hope I can return a fraction of that one day. :)