Today is Mine

Its almost 1:20 am (October 6, 2008). Got off the phone, was talking to my mother. My sister gets married in 4 days (Inshallah). I wont be attending the wedding. I guess we have to be at a certain place at a certain point in time. That's exactly where I am. I am so many miles away. And its complicated - I cant be there for some crappy reason (Hint: Visa & all)
When I was talking to mom, I suddenly had this heartache. You know the kind when you feel it. No, its not a heart related disease. Its an emotion. I have felt it in the past.It hurts so bad you feel restless. You want to do something, but you cant. At times, you're just helpless. Reminds me of your blog Awais, the one on living.And your little note right at the end: Live. It may be the bravest thing you would ever do.
Now, to some people this whole wedding thing may not be such a big deal. But let me tell you, I missed her engagement ceremony as well. And it is the first wedding in our house, and when I was a kid I used to dream that I'd have a grand wedding for my sister. Guess what..thats not happening!! Because God has a different plan. This is how it was supposed to be. And then I saw this image:
"Today is Mine. Tomorrow is not my business."
And I felt a little better. All I can do sitting so far away is pray for her. So, here I go - this ones for Amina & Adnan Bhai (Thanks Rumi):

This Marriage

May these vows and this marriage be blessed.
May it be sweet milk, this marriage, like wine and halvah.
May this marriage offer fruit and shade like the date palm.
May this marriage be full of laughter, (y)our every day a day in paradise.
May this marriage be a sign of compassion, a seal of happiness here and hereafter.
May this marriage have a fair face and a good name

(Amen)

I miss you all, and I love you all.